


Maybe it'll be okay

by TooGucci4You



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heather worries constantly, Veronica is really damaged, but it just devolved into fluff, i tried really hard for angst, sorry not sorry tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9665756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooGucci4You/pseuds/TooGucci4You
Summary: Veronica is struggling to cope with everything that's happened, and Heather takes it upon herself to step in





	

**Author's Note:**

> my first attempt at angst and I couldn't even make it through half of it without making it fluffy smh
> 
> also the pov jumps around a lot and I'm sorry for that

* * *

Veronica Sawyer felt as if she were underwater. As though the entire ocean were above her, bearing down, suffocating her and turning everything into a blue-gray haze.

It had been three weeks since the incident, since she had accidentally fed Heather Chandler drain cleaner, since she had been tricked into murdering Kurt and Ram. Since JD had… gone. She’d hardly slept, every time she closed her eyes she could see Heather choking, bright blue liquid bubbling between her lips, could hear the gunshot and Ram’s terrified cries for mercy as Kurt lay lifeless at her feet.

Could see JD’s last, sad smile as the bomb went off.

There were deep shadows under her eyes, bypassing tiredness and looking more like she has lost a fight. Badly.

She barely ate, almost every attempt ending with her on her knees in front of her toilet, retching and gagging as bile burned her throat, already raw from sobbing. She no longer wore the blue blazer and mini skirt from when she joined the Heathers, reverting to ratty scarves and hoodies. Her hair was a mess, a rat nest that Heather Chandler would have torn her apart for, had she still been around.

She sat in class, gaze glassy and staring. She knew her teacher was talking, could see his mouth moving, but the words were muffled, faraway and unintelligible. She was vaguely aware of the bell ringing, of people moving and shuffling around to get their stuff and make their way to their next class, and slowly, like an old woman, she rose, gathering her books and notebook full of vague scribbles that might have been words, a stark contrast to the pristine notes that filled the rest of the pages.

With dreamlike sluggishness, she made her way to the door, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, looking around wildly for a moment before her blurry gaze found the small form of Heather McNamara, dressed in yellow as usual, eyes dark with concern.

Veronica knew she was speaking too, but was having trouble registering the words. Was having trouble hearing anything other than the static that filled her ears.

“...hey, hey, Ronnie? Veronica, can you hear me?” Finally, her voice became audible and Veronica blinked twice, rapidly, forcing her previously blurry form into focus.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Hey Heather… what’s up?” The words felt thick and syrupy as she said them, and Veronica was dimly aware that they had come out slightly slurred. Heather looked at her with eyes that brimmed with sympathy, and Veronica felt a twinge of resentment. She didn’t want people to pity her, she didn’t deserve it. Didn’t really even deserve to be alive.

Heather chose her next words carefully, careful to keep a gentle, neutral tone. “You really aren’t looking too hot, Veronica. How about we skip the rest of the day and I’ll take you home? You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

“I haven’t.” Veronica replied bluntly, eyes dim and humorless.

Heather blinked. “Oh,” she shifted awkwardly for a moment. “Then in that case, I am taking you home. No arguing. C’mon.” Veronica, too tired to fight, allowed her small, warm hand to press into the small of her back firmly and guide her out of the room and down the hallway. She felt the stares of people on her as she passed, could distantly hear them whispering about her. She couldn’t bring herself to care.

She didn’t really remember the walk to Heather’s shiny yellow Mercedes ( _of course is was yellow, everything with her was…_ ), didn’t really remember getting in and driving away from the school, but what she _did_ remember was seeing the local 7/11 as they drove past it.

Immediately, Veronica began to panic as memories of JD bombarded her. Him offering her the slushie the night of the party, the same color as the bright blue drain cleaner she had given to Heather Chandler. She began to hyperventilate, darkness growing on the edges of her vision, feeling numb, and then…

Soft, cool fingers snapped her back to reality. They were parked in her driveway, and Heather was running the pads of her fingers over Veronica’s face gently, under her eyes ( _I look like I got hit, please don’t notice_ ), behind her ears and over her cheeks ( _just a greasy little nobody…_ ), and through the bangs that had fallen onto her forehead ( _oh god I don’t remember the last time I washed my hair_ ).

Her gaze was steady, though fearful, as she did her best to ground Veronica. She cooed softly at her, like Veronica was a child scared of a nightmare, which, to be fair, maybe she was at this point.

Her voice was reassuring when she spoke. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m right here, come on back to me,” Heather’s voice wavered a bit, but she kept it from breaking. “Let’s go inside, okay? We’ll get you cleaned up and in bed.”

Heather hopped out of the car, walking around the front swiftly to open Veronica’s door and help her out. It occurred to Veronica that her face was wet with tears and probably blotchy, but she didn’t even have the strength to feel embarrassed. She followed Heather blindly inside, guided by the cool hand in hers, and up the stairs to her room.

Heather couldn’t help but be shocked at the state of the room. She had been in it before, normally there wasn’t a hair out of place. It was in shambles now, clothes and papers strewn about the floor, and a suspicious looking pill bottle with the cap off sat on her bedside table.

She took a closer look, relieved when there was still a fair amount of pills left, and that it seemed to only be for some kind of vitamin deficiency. Regardless, she put the top back on and set it far out of reach of the bed. Then she turned, clapping her hands together, and shushing Veronica apologetically when she jumped at the sudden noise.

“First things first. You need a shower. A hot shower never hurt anybody. Head into the bathroom, and I’ll get you some clothes.” Veronica stared at her for a moment, before her eyes unclouded a bit and she nodded, padding off to the bathroom steadily. Heather took it as a good sign. She walked over to Veronica’s closet, clothes stuffed haphazardly onto shelves, and picked out an old Rolling Stones shirt, fleece pajama pants, and a pair of hipsters before making her way to the bathroom herself.

The slight boost of energy Veronica had gotten seemed to have faded in the span of 30 seconds, as she now sat on the closed toilet seat, half-undressed, eyes cloudy and far away again. Heather sighed, but was undeterred, she’d been in a situation like this before.

Granted, Heather Chandler had been completely wasted, not horribly depressed, but it was the same general concept. Heather had thrown up all over herself at her own party junior year after drinking way too much, and was far too drunk to get herself up the stairs and shower safely, so Heather McNamara had had to bite the bullet and get in with her to clean her off and make sure she didn’t slip.

It was looking like she was going to have to do the same with Veronica. With a resolute nod, Heather leaned to adjust the shower water, turning it to a comfortably warm temperature.

Veronica reached out and turned it all the way to scalding. Heather said nothing.

“Okay, finish getting undressed, I’m gonna help you,” she commanded, beginning to take off her socks and jacket. Veronica looked up, eyebrow raised.

“Help me?”

Heather let out a scoff as reached back to clip her hair up to prevent it from getting wet. “Please, as if I’m gonna let you shower alone in the state you’re in. You could…” she trailed off, regretting the words she had been about to say.

“Drown myself? Slip and die?” Veronica finished dully for her. Heather winced.

“It doesn’t matter. You won’t because I’m gonna make sure you don’t. Now finish getting undressed.”

 _I’d deserve it._ She thought.

Veronica had no will to argue, or to feel embarrassed. At another point, in a better time, she probably would have been excited, Heather McNamara was gorgeous. But she still felt a faint spark of heat in her stomach as she watched Heather unbutton her blouse, and took an odd comfort in it. It meant she could still feel something other than regret and sadness.

The steam that had filled the bathroom made things less awkward as both girls climbed into the small shower space, as neither could see the other very clearly. Veronica hissed slightly when she stepped into the blistering water, and knew her skin was turning pink as she adjusted to the temperature.

She let it flow over her head and down her back, sighing as the heat soothed some of her tension away. She started when gentle fingers began running through her hair, glancing behind her to see Heather with her hands covered in suds. She smiled slightly sheepishly.

“I thought it might be relaxing for you,” Heather explained, looking awkward. “Sorry if I like, crossed a line or something.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it is all.” Veronica smiled genuinely for the first time in a while, turning back around so Heather could continue. Though she could not see her, Heather smiled warmly and nodded, reaching up to scratch her fingers gently over Veronica’s scalp again, working shampoo all through her hair and getting it thoroughly clean. Heather could tell she hadn’t washed her hair in a while, but would never have said anything about it directly.

She tapped between Veronica’s shoulder blades, an indication to step under the stream of water and wash the soap from her hair. As she did, Heather glanced around, grabbing a bottle of half-empty conditioner and popping the top.

She gently lathered Veronica’s hair in it, making sure to use just the right amount. She left Veronica to finish cleaning up and stepped out of the shower, trusting her to not hurt herself.

She toweled off and left the bathroom momentarily to raid Veronica’s closet, choosing a shirt with a large Nintendo Entertainment System logo on it that almost reached her knees. By the time she returned to the bathroom, Veronica had finished up and was dressed, and was wrestling with her knotted hair.

Heather felt the corner of her mouth curl up into a small smile. She reached forward, gently taking the comb from Veronica and guiding her to sit on the toilet lid again. She also grabbed the hair dryer, putting it on it’s lowest setting and handing it to Veronica to warm herself up with.

Heather began to untangle Veronica’s wet hair with ease, starting at the bottom and working her way up, careful not to tug too hard on any knots, even the particularly bad ones. The teeth scraped through Veronica’s hair soothingly, and that, combined with the warmth and quiet hum of the hair dryer, lulled her slightly, slowing down her racing mind for the first time in a while.

Satisfied with her work, Heather put the comb down, and took the hairbrush up instead. She claimed the hair dryer from Veronica as well, who grumbled a bit in protest, but was quickly satisfied when Heather began to run the bristles over her scalp and blow dry her hair.

She kept it on the lowest setting, and though it took longer, she knew it was more relaxing that way. Veronica had narrowed her eyes sleepily, feeling the tension that had wound itself up tight in her gut unfurl with every sure, firm stroke of the hairbrush.

Sure, sitting on a toilet seat having your best friend blow dry your hair wasn’t gonna solve your problems, but it felt nice, and it gave her the clearest sense of mind she had possessed since the incident.

“There,” Heather’s words shook Veronica from her drowsy state, and she looked up to see Heather offering her a hand up. She took it, following her back into the bedroom. “C’mon, you need some sleep. Time for bed.”

Veronica raised her eyebrows skeptically. “It’s 3:45 in the afternoon.” Her words were punctuated with a yawn, however. Heather snorted.

Veronica grinned sheepishly and climbed into bed.

“You look like you got punched.” She said matter-of-factly, following Veronica into the bed. Veronica was slightly surprised at her actions.

“Y-you’re staying with me?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah, I mean, unless you don’t want me to—”

“No, no! I do. I just… didn’t expect you to want to go to sleep so early?” It was a flimsy excuse, and they both knew it, but Heather let it slide. She smiled ruefully.

“You aren’t the only one who’s had a tough time lately.” Her voice was soft, tinged with sadness. Like a punch to the gut, Veronica remembered what happened that day in the bathroom. Heather could have killed herself, and that would have been on her too. For fuck’s sake it had been her _best friends_ Veronica had accidentally killed.

For the first time in a while, Veronica really looked at Heather McNamara. She had dark circles under her eyes as well, and her gaze was slightly glassy, like she was watching some sad scene on repeat inside her head. She probably was.

“God, jeez, I didn’t even think about that. I’m sorry Heather, I was just so caught up in all my shit, I never even stopped to think about how you must be going through a lot of the same thing.” Immense guilt welled up inside Veronica, and she felt a prickle behind her eyes, the telltale sign that she was about to cry. She swallowed the feeling, forcing it back. No more crying. It was enough for now.

“There’s no need to apologize for feeling shitty, Veronica.” Heather held up a placating hand. “You were going through your own stuff, you shouldn’t have to worry about mine too.” She smiled crookedly, before snuggling down under the covers. “I’m tired, so quit talking and go to sleep.”

Veronica couldn’t help the smile the graced her features as she settled down too. Like a magnet, Heather immediately gravitated towards her and before she knew it, Veronica found herself with the little blonde curled against her body, arms encircling her waist and face pressed to her shoulder.

Huffing a slight laugh, Veronica wrapped her arms around her tightly, pulling her closer. Heather looked up, and stretched her face forward until she could press a slightly sloppy kiss to what was supposed to be Veronica’s cheek, but landed on the corner of her lips instead. Heather didn’t seem bothered.

“Night, Ronnie.” She murmured, settling back down into Veronica’s warm body. Veronica felt her face heat up, but smiled and offered her own ‘goodnight’ back.

And suddenly, Veronica felt like things might just be okay if Heather stayed in her arms like this forever. Felt like _she_ could be okay if Heather stayed with her.

For the first time in a long time, Veronica closed her eyes, and slept.

**Author's Note:**

> not my best, but this was really more for practice than anything. regardless, I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> also the hair dryer thing comes from the fact that whenever I get to feeling bad I grab a hair dryer and just turn it on. weird I know, but it's soothing!
> 
> think I'll have some ghostly third wheel Heather Chandler shenanigans comin' at y'all next so stay tuned!
> 
> p.s.: to everyone who has left me kudos and sweet comments on my other two, heck who have even just read them, thank you so much. you have no idea how much it means to me :)


End file.
